I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
