i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
