Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
