Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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