Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Porn is love you can see.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
