I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
