Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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