I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm at about main and main street
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
