i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize