Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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