I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You may now shotgun with the bride
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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