I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
