I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
