I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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