This is not my ceiling
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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