he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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