listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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