hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
