I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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