I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
