alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
