Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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