Don't you send me to vm
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
