Ambien. No doubt about it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
