You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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