the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
