Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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