A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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