I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
