meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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