This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize