By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
