then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
