Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
