The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my phone needs a breathalizer
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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