Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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