Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize