I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
