Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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