I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
