OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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