Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
