even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
