We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
