You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize