So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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