She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
