What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
