I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
