The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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