ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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