I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
