haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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