I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
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i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
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and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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