just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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