and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
