I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm really busy with my period
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