I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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