so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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