weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
