we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I fill condoms, not promises.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
