But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
