My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
