i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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