her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
