Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
