Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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