i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
